Delusion.

       I laugh..but where is the sound of my laughter,
       I walk but only a trail of my shadow.
                I pass by and they talk in whispers 
          scorn on their faces I don't look away ,
       am a shame to society they say.
        I feel like an animal caged,
   my choices my chains,
     sometimes I drift away for how long I cannot tell  
   my life is not worth living but that is worth loving
   am a woman ,
   am a lover...
     let me love ...let me live
    just look away 

My day

he askes me a question...admin law ..

I swear I know the answer..but my head just goes blank

He is in a brown trench..his short hair neatly combed,

for a minute I give him that blank stare then there is that coy smile on his face,

he is fiddling with his pen;my face is an open book

We are caught up in our own surreal world

He asks me my name,says If I can help with the assignment

I give him my phone number 

I hear him curse below his breath because the computer next to mine has no internet

he goes...

am left...

fiddling with my pen,he is probably my age or an year younger

tonight I will be waiting for a text,am surprised at my excitement

there is an intrigue about him...Maybe 3rd year will be intresting after all

Unlike

An year later:





I waited up all night for your calls...
I whined all day how much I missed you
How indifferent you were then...laughed off with your friends how into you I was...
I took the blame for all your wrongs..
for is love not the sacrifices we make?
I was good for a wife your mama said,
a girl with good an education...a family of high regard...
That night you asked if I could marry you..I was over the moon
We were married by summer..a lovely couple they said
One year down the line..you rarely spend the nights home..
I say the stranger you have become..you always were do I forget?
Recently I met someone...
yes this is news, am filling for divorce I say..
stay a little longer you beg...not even your tears can hold me back..
How indifferent I have become you fuss...
am leaving anyway!....@carolapoems....

carolajaynepoems.blogger.comColour of love:
Sometimes I think ..oh love
you would look so good on me
You ask, then why do you run away from me when I seek thee?
...and I say, you always come in red
mama taught me that means trouble, so you say
tomorrow oh thine I shall come in black
Am terrified! black terrifies me,
for the grief it bringeth thine heart cannot bear..
So if you come someday, do not come in colours
that might stain thine heart..come crystal clear
So thine eyes can see what thy bear..
and maybe my legs wont carry me in scare..
For thine piety might melt me unaware..and oh do come by day
So yours warmth I may feel at night.